Slipping away...

Today I'm feeling a bit on the downside... like a dream or goal is slipping away... like the more you try to squeeze it in your grip... the more it slips through your fingers... or a afraid that your dream might disappear when you open your eyes or someone turns the light on... you keep climbing the walls that are put in front of you... only to fine that someone or something else has built another wall higher for you to climb... sometimes I feel like a circus clown dog doing my best to jump through the hoops... that are put up by unseen ringmasters keeping me performing for their amusement... its like digging your fingers into what you feel is solid while hanging over the edge of a cliff... only to realize your gripping hand full of sand... I keep turning corners in hope that this is the last corner... only to realize there is another corner to be turned... only to find out all the corners you turn are making you go in circles... But I'm a fighter... the problems is I don't know who or what I'm fighting... there is a saying "I've been down so long that it looks like up"... only problem is when you look down at water you see the reflection of what is up... only to still be looking down... there are many things I'm told I shouldn't do... there are many things I'm told I can't do... there are many things I won't do... I search, I reach, I fight, I look, I jump, I climb, I do what every it takes... where is this land of milk and honey... where is this place that dreams come true... where is this place where I can reach my goals... maybe if I lay down to rest a bit... close my eyes... I'll be able to see where these dreams... these goals slip away to...