training cougar cub to hunt

to start off I'm giving a nod to several baristas that this tale could be about... Voodoo Witch Barista-I'm Not That Of Girl-Caveman Woman-I Could Be A Centerfold-60s Tie Dye Barista... I'm not sorry to the others such as BaahBaah or I facebook Everything or Little One or My Fucking Knee Acting Up Again Barista reason for my own... let me start this tale when I was... how can I put this... I know... when I was of the age of cougar bait... many many many moons ago when the moon was high and the earth was young... I was entering my cougar bait years (you can't google it... it's a calendar thing)... I was employed by an airline which allowed me to travel to many cougar hunting grounds... this tale took place in a far land near the metal birds nesting area where metal bird watches spotted 737s, 727s, the extinct L1011s, DC10s and the world traveler 747s... LAX... the cougar in this tale was 32 moons... she was out for her first hunt and I was her first prey... she toyed with me like a

cat holding a piece of cheese on a string and I was the mouse... she was 
taught how to make me jump through hoops that I didn't even know I was jumping through... she played me like a toy fiddle... I enjoyed every minute of it... the best part being a hunting by a cougar is the hot out of control fucking!!!(oh fucking grow up)... I can't put my finger on it but for some reason when a cougar is in heat (which is most of the time) she on the hunt... and when she hunting she looking for prey that will fulfill her horny hunger... meaning she wants to be fuck like she's never been fucked before and she not getting it from prey around her own age... it seems that cougars think most prey around their age are pretty set in they're sex-ways (ie watching sports while drinking beer rather than watch a cougar do a striptease)(I know that there are some cougars that shouldn't do stripteases)... before she cast me out like yesterday's newspaper I ask... no I begged her to show me how a cougar hunts it's prey... she told me to notice what style of clothes they wear... it seems that clothing tells a lot about a cougar's habitat (what side of the tracks she comes from-there are trailer trash cougars out there)... she pointed out how a cougar stocks it's prey without it knowing it... she told me to notice how a cougar plays with it's prey...  she also show me how a cougar when it's made up it's mind how she pounces on it's prey and fends off other cougars... this enabled me to become a cougar hunter... so I told this knowledge with me on great hunts across the land using the big metal birds that migrate across the lands... the hunting was good... 

now I sit at the corner of the bar (wish it was a Tiki Bar or Tiki Lounge) and watch cougars play with their prey... and laugh at the prey when they think they have the upper hand (they don't if the cougar is wroth her salt in weight)... moral to this tale is if you are a young cub wanting to be a worthy cougar... learn from the best one you can find... I know they are hard to find but they're out there... you just have to go to there hunting grounds... unfortunately 3 Vinos in my area is not where you're going to find a 'vintage (better word for find) cougar' to hunt... sometime later I'll write about my cougar safaris... (sound effects of a cork popping out of a old vintage tequila bottle-sound effects of tequila pouring into rocks glass with ice)... aaaahhhh.

Now this is a Tequila Bottle is it no wonder why cougars (women) enjoy a good shot! If not just think of how much fun they could have with an empty bottle!

text to work.

once again I got the text for work on CSI NY at the last moment (while as far as work calls go that it is)... it's up at the butt crack of dawn, get dress in the dark, because turning on the lights will temporarily blind you... make the bed like a good boy then dash out the door... hit the local Starbucks for the first cup of the day and maybe banana for the commute to work... work a half day (the first 12 hours) on location in Pasadena... but here is the kicker I got to drive to CBS Studios in Studio City, to be driven back to Pasadena to do the work... then at the end of the day be driven back to the Studio... get my car so I can drive thru Pasadena on the commute home... make since... don't worry it doesn't have too. It's Hollywood!!! I wonder who I'll see grinning at me from across the counter early in the morning at local Starbucks?... Big Boy's Coffee please... will there be an early morning hug?... will I want an early morning hug?...
I want the MILF picture in upper right corner to be texting me to come to bed.

Here is some eye-texting-candy... remember texting and drinking leads to drunken texting...

Maybe

the word 'maybe' has different means... it means one thing to a man and another to a woman... when we were kids, be it boy or girl, we learned how to use the word 'maybe' as away of playing our parents against eachother to get what we wanted... it went something like this... you go ask your mother for something or let you go somewhere... when she didn't want to give you a definite answer she would say 'maybe' if it's okay with your father' (does word 'maybe' mean passing the buck?)... once you heard that from your mother then you would to daddy and play'em like a cheap fiddle... as we get old the word 'maybe' becomes a double edge sword... meaning one thing to a woman and something else to a man...   when a man uses the word 'maybe' to a other man... it means 'no fucking chance in hell am I going to do that for you'... or 'it's not that important to me so fucking forget it'... or if a man thinking about doing something... like 'maybe' I should go--- which means I'll never go there because no one is dragging me there... or  'maybe' I should do--- which means I'm not about to fucking do that because no one is nagging me to do it... here is the flip side... what the

word 'maybe' means to a woman.... when a woman uses the word 'maybe' to another woman it means one thing only... 'maybe I can do it for you later'... translation... 'I can't do it right now but I will do it because you're going to owe me big time'... now this is where man and woman go wrong when using the word 'maybe' with eachother... when a woman tells a man 'maybe I'll give you a blow job later if you're good'... which means [guys] you'll never get that blow job because she will never find anything good that you've done... so guys when you hear the word 'maybe' from a woman, it's her way of telling you that there is no fucking way in hell it's ever going to happen... flip side... when a man uses the word 'maybe to a woman... something like this... 'maybe I'll take you there or 'maybe I'll do this for you'... which means [guys] you better fucking do it now there is no later...  to a woman when a man says it, it's another way of say absolutely yes-promise cross my heart... but when a woman say 'maybe' to a man it only mean one thing... 'maybe'. 

Multitasking what is your brain doing tonight!

 these are the things I plan to do tonight... get a bite to eat... maybe a burger from a local hamburger joint... watch some Apple TV while enjoying said burger... then while watching Apple TV do some writing on script I'm working on (working title Ol' Guy)... then while working on script do some more posting on twitter or facebook... then I got to google some more pixs to go on blog that I write... while working on my script... then get sidetrack looking at nude porn star photos that leads to watching internet porn will watching Apple TV... 

now movie is over that I rented on Apple TV... flip over to netflix to some stupid movie that I really don't care about while watching internet porn... while using spaces (other way of changing screens on laptop to have open different programs-which I got to get a new one) changing screen from internet porn as it is loading up getting ready to play... flip to screen that has my script that I'm working to write a few action lines (which my proofread calls 'action chunks')... then its flip back to internet porn move that it ready to view... while netflix movie on TV is coming to an end... while viewing internet porn... fire up Play Station to watch hulu+... internet porn flick is done (usually 30 minutes or less-could be a movie title)... flip screen on laptop back to script screen... pick TV show on hulu+ that I want to watch... then let it 

load up... now back to script write a few lines of dialogue... flip laptop screen back to internet porn site to pick another porn flick to distract me... while hulu+ is now ready to view... watch episode of I don't remember picking this show to watch... while internet porn site movie is loading up... flip laptop screen back to script that I'm working to write another 'action chunk'... then add a new space screen on laptop so I can write new blog

with pix of naked women and vintage pinups that I have downloaded to desktop from google... while watching hulu+ episode... now done with blog, post it with pix also link it to twitter and facebook... flip laptop screen back to internet porn site which has movie read to view... hulu+ episode I was watching is done and now is load next episode... while I watch internet porn movie... hulu+ is now ready for viewing... 

internet porn is done (remember flicks on internet porn are only 30 minutes or less-more times than not less)... close out internet porn site because my brain is telling me I really should be working on writing script... while now watching hulu+ episode... I close another space screen that has my blog that I just finish posting and linking to twitter & facebook... 

do a quick clean up of desk top by photoshop pics of nude women that I downloaded from google images... while watching hulu+ episode plays on... put photoshop pictures into my pictures file in hard-drive... close out that space screen so that my only space screen is one with my script I'm working on... hulu+ episode is now concluding... turn off Play Station and flip TV to satellite to TCM old black and white movies while working on script... MULTITASKING!!! what is your brain doing tonight? I think I need a cup of java to give my brain a bit of caffeine boost so I can do more...

 This is for those who enjoy hot dogs.

negative = negative unless you're doing new math or tick-tock-tick-tock

let me start this tale on what was on the calendar for me today... I had to go to the taxman to 

do my taxes for last year or is it this year for last year or is it do taxes this year for last year... you get idea... I was suppose to be in Magic Mountain Town by 11:30 am... which means I have to get my ass up out of bed by 9:30 am... this should be no problem right... right?... not so fast my little speedster... you ever wonder why they put snooze buttons on alarms?... it's for people like us (what us kemosabe?)(okay me)... I think the snooze button is there to see how long you can procrastinate before you have to jump out of bed and run around like a mad-man trying to fit in making the bed-taking a shower-drying off-getting dressed-comb one's hair (if you still got hair)-brush your teeth-then dash out the door hoping you got everything you need... like the fucking car keys or key... now this is where the fun part is for a procrastinator... get it all done in six minutes or less after hitting the snooze button more than say fifteen time at 6 minute intervals... I mean anyone can get up early enough to do all this without rushing around but 

where is the fun in that?... that is the first of negative here is the next negative... I have this habit I can't start the day without my 'first cup of the day'... but here is the second challenge... you are out the door with 55 minutes on the clock... now take into mind you got to be at Magic Mountain Town at 11:30 am... you should have dash out the door by 10:25 am... it takes you from where your crack house is to Magic Mountain Town about 50 minutes if you drive by the rules and laws of psychics... lets dash back to our tale... here's what happens next... remember it takes 50 minutes to get where you need to be and you have only 55 minutes on the clock and it's ticking tocking away... got to hit bank and I don't mean the ATM... go inside and withdraw some cash to pay taxman (did I mention that the car is almost running on empty?-my bad).. get some cash to put gas in the tank... this normally would take about say 10 minutes, because there would be an old woman checking on her bank account to make sure none of her money didn't escape during the night... it takes about 9 minutes off the clock to get in & out of bank (got lucky there was only one blue haired lady in bank)... next it's off to yup you got it... local Starbucks where you see that there is a line forming inside... park the car at the green curb (look it up)... jail walk across the street and join others that are rushing through the door to get in line... now why is it there is always a fucking newbie that never been to a Starbucks in there life is at the head of the line, gawking at the menu wondering what to fucking order... oh did I also bring up there is only one barista handing the register?... now you are third in line... the couple in front of you (not that they are a couple in a relationship way) are wondering from the line to the 'everything you see in the display cases is damn fattening!!! then back into line so they too can stare at the menu like a deer in the headlights... take 13 minutes off the clock... before you can order your cup of java... wait for it... here's the rub... it's brewing and has 4 minutes to go... #FUCK!... upside you know the baristas working at the time... so they can of help you get out the door... but here is another negative... you know have 

pissed off the newbie customer because you got your 

cup of java before she got her double capa mocha 

carmel latte and she been waiting two more minutes than you have... which by the way I could feel her negativity pulsing off her (she was raging at barista for giving out coffee to others before she got hers and demanding to see the boss)... remember to grab your banana for the drive as well... all said and done take a total of 15 minutes off the clock... back into the car feeling newbies negative vibe... now remember you got one more stop before freeway... gas for the car... take 6 minutes off the clock because you had to get the attendant attention in order to pay her cash for the gas & pump it... back into car only to be involved in what I call the MEXICAN traveling roadblock and nope you don't have to be Mexican to play... what would only take about 3 minutes from gas station to get to freeway now is taking you 6 minutes...  as you get on the free notice time you have left to get there... now you

are in the negative... meaning no matter how fast you go or how much you want to turn your car into a time machine you're going to be late... what do you do?... call and lie... say traffic is heavy... while you are driving at better than 65 miles per hour... more in the 8s (that would be 8 in front of other number you desire next to 8)... when you get to said taxman you are now more than 30 minutes late... upside of all this got taxes done... upside didn't have to pay any additional taxes... downside cost over four bills to get taxes done... downside getting small return... downside got to drive home in afternoon traffic of those who get off work around 2 pm... upside stop off at local Starbucks for the second cup of java and listen to funny stories from the baristas... moral of tale... get a faster car/time machine say like a new 911 Porsche...

Can fit in smaller size-why is gut still hanging over belt?

over the last few days I've been noticing that I had been using the last notch on my fat man belt... why do I call it my fat man belt... because the regular belt I had, wore out some time ago, that meant I had to go buy a new one... it's never flattering when you go into a store say like a JCPs or Kohl's... one step above Wally Mart or Target I have a hard time making myself step into them... I get this creepy feeling when ever pull into the parking lot of any of these stores... the kind of shoppers that go to Wally Mart or Target could be better describe as 909ers (thanks to Voodoo Witch Barista for the term) or trailer trash... the kind of shopper that goes to JCP or Kohl's is one step up... meaning they have a house but the yard needs attending, you'll find several run down cars sitting on blocks and empty cheap beer cans scatter on the porch... yup you surmised it right I am shallow...  but to be fair about the whole thing that doesn't mean Macy's is any better... I bought a belt from them awhile back thatwas some what price with a well know brand only to have it fall apart in a few months 

(it was cheaply made-over priced-it was shit-I didn't know leather felt or looked like cardboard filler-thanks China)... this time I wanted a brand name that I could depend on... Levi Strauss... but all of the Miller's Outpost are gone... Gap dropped them to carrier there own brand name made by small children in South America... that meant I had no choice but to go to a department store like Kohl's... once inside and getting over the eeb-bee gee-bees I found a rack of real leather made belts by Levi's with this tag-'echo en Mexico'... so I know it was made with real leather... now the part that made me want to start my quest to getting down to my porn weight... the rack of belts ranged sizes from 'I'm so damn skinny that when turn side ways my cock makes me look like a zipper pulled down' to it took a whole cowhide to make one belt to go around a fat guys gut'... odd enough there where plenty in those sized but hardly any in the size I wanted... in the size I wanted it was only ugly patterns that no guy would dare buy... I took one off the rack to try it for size... now here is how most guys try on belts or anything for that matter... we don't go running off to the 'fitting rooms'... we don't take off the old one or if not wearing one we don't loop it through waistband... a guy simply wraps it around his waist and if it seems to lap over to the second or middle notch-we do 'guy fit' (trying on without trying on-holding it to you to see if it fits or wrap it around you to see if it fits-guy fitting) and if it measure up, 'it's a go' for buy... as I was 'guy fit' when I found out that the size I usually wear/wanted didn't seem to 'guy fit'... I'm not about to get a belt where I have to use the very first notch... I would look like a backwards hick (that always wins over the hot nasty MILFS)... 

so begrudgingly I took the next size bigger... I did the 'guy fit' this time it lap over to the middle notch so I bought it... this is what started me on the path to dropping weight... know the part that's got me puzzled is I'm wearing my fat man belt on it's last notch, wearing a trimmer fit on my Levi shorts (meaning not the baggy loose fit that lies to you about what your real size is) and in some instant I'm wearing a size down which is good... but why is my gut still hanging over? what's with that? my weight is still in flux but dropping (not as fast as I want it too) and there are times when I feel I'm not dropping weight at all but seem to be gaining which my clothes seem to be contradicting... I will admit to giving in, to craving... need to stop eating when feeling full even though I've cut down on portions... I'm to the point of going to a 'fat doctor' to check into getting any new pharmaceutical drug that helps drop weight to help with my cause... oh phen-phen how I miss you so... the only weight lost drug that really worked for me... damn stupid people for miss using it!!! well that's it for now more to come and more often now that I'm getting back on track of getting down to my porn weight... Oh and a big thanks to--- 
'I'm Not That Kind Of Girl' Barista for those words that rang out so true... she help me without even knowing it... I have been in the habit of getting a banana with my first cup of Java (which is a good thing) on my second cup of java I would get a cheesy bagel with two creamy cheeses if I wanted or not (which is bad) when hang out at local Starbucks... her words where while I was having my second cup of java, "hey tubby you want your cheesy bagel with cream cheese that'll make you fatter---now"?

use to be call for work now is text for work

got the text to work on CSI NY for prepping stages at CBS Studios or striking at Paramount's backlot... pix of what is going on behind the scenes will follow... with any luck it will only be a half of a day call (half of a day call meaning work the first damn twelve hours of the day) gotta get up at the butt crack of dawn, hit local Starbucks (poor baristas gotta get up way before the butt crack of dawn) for that 'first cup of the day' on the way out... oh boy I get to enjoy 'cup of java' on commute to work... fucking traffic should be light at that time of morning... hey 'I Could Be A Centerfold' Barista please have the 'bold' ready (request for Gold Coast)... maybe even a cheesy bagel with creamy cheese... and a hug to start the day from 'I Could Be A Centerfold' Barista...

 Oh Voodoo Witch Barista if you are working the late shift tomorrow I'll see you then for either a cold lemonade or the 'last cup of the day'... where you can rib me some more on me getting my cruzer stolen... upside I get to buy a new improved cruzer to pedal my ass around town or at work (studio lots)... I'm thinking of a royal blue with red fenders or royal blue with black fenders and matching handlebars...

 adios~aloha for now Ol' Guy