do my taxes for last year or is it this year for last year or is it do taxes this year for last year... you get idea... I was suppose to be in Magic Mountain Town by 11:30 am... which means I have to get my ass up out of bed by 9:30 am... this should be no problem right... right?... not so fast my little speedster... you ever wonder why they put snooze buttons on alarms?... it's for people like us (what us kemosabe?)(okay me)... I think the snooze button is there to see how long you can procrastinate before you have to jump out of bed and run around like a mad-man trying to fit in making the bed-taking a shower-drying off-getting dressed-comb one's hair (if you still got hair)-brush your teeth-then dash out the door hoping you got everything you need... like the fucking car keys or key... now this is where the fun part is for a procrastinator... get it all done in six minutes or less after hitting the snooze button more than say fifteen time at 6 minute intervals... I mean anyone can get up early enough to do all this without rushing around but 
where is the fun in that?... that is the first of negative here is the next negative... I have this habit I can't start the day without my 'first cup of the day'... but here is the second challenge... you are out the door with 55 minutes on the clock... now take into mind you got to be at Magic Mountain Town at 11:30 am... you should have dash out the door by 10:25 am... it takes you from where your crack house is to Magic Mountain Town about 50 minutes if you drive by the rules and laws of psychics... lets dash back to our tale... here's what happens next... remember it takes 50 minutes to get where you need to be and you have only 55 minutes on the clock and it's ticking tocking away... got to hit bank and I don't mean the ATM... go inside and withdraw some cash to pay taxman (did I mention that the car is almost running on empty?-my bad).. get some cash to put gas in the tank... this normally would take about say 10 minutes, because there would be an old woman checking on her bank account to make sure none of her money didn't escape during the night... it takes about 9 minutes off the clock to get in & out of bank (got lucky there was only one blue haired lady in bank)... next it's off to yup you got it... local Starbucks where you see that there is a line forming inside... park the car at the green curb (look it up)... jail walk across the street and join others that are rushing through the door to get in line... now why is it there is always a fucking newbie that never been to a Starbucks in there life is at the head of the line, gawking at the menu wondering what to fucking order... oh did I also bring up there is only one barista handing the register?... now you are third in line... the couple in front of you (not that they are a couple in a relationship way) are wondering from the line to the 'everything you see in the display cases is damn fattening!!! then back into line so they too can stare at the menu like a deer in the headlights... take 13 minutes off the clock... before you can order your cup of java... wait for it... here's the rub... it's brewing and has 4 minutes to go... #FUCK!... upside you know the baristas working at the time... so they can of help you get out the door... but here is another negative... you know have 
pissed off the newbie customer because you got your cup of java before she got her double capa mocha
carmel latte and she been waiting two more minutes than you have... which by the way I could feel her negativity pulsing off her (she was raging at barista for giving out coffee to others before she got hers and demanding to see the boss)... remember to grab your banana for the drive as well... all said and done take a total of 15 minutes off the clock... back into the car feeling newbies negative vibe... now remember you got one more stop before freeway... gas for the car... take 6 minutes off the clock because you had to get the attendant attention in order to pay her cash for the gas & pump it... back into car only to be involved in what I call the MEXICAN traveling roadblock and nope you don't have to be Mexican to play... what would only take about 3 minutes from gas station to get to freeway now is taking you 6 minutes... as you get on the free notice time you have left to get there... now you
are in the negative... meaning no matter how fast you go or how much you want to turn your car into a time machine you're going to be late... what do you do?... call and lie... say traffic is heavy... while you are driving at better than 65 miles per hour... more in the 8s (that would be 8 in front of other number you desire next to 8)... when you get to said taxman you are now more than 30 minutes late... upside of all this got taxes done... upside didn't have to pay any additional taxes... downside cost over four bills to get taxes done... downside getting small return... downside got to drive home in afternoon traffic of those who get off work around 2 pm... upside stop off at local Starbucks for the second cup of java and listen to funny stories from the baristas... moral of tale... get a faster car/time machine say like a new 911 Porsche...
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