When drinking at local Tiki Bar on the beach in the islands

Rule #86-when drinking at the local Tiki Bar on the beach in the islands-when ordering Mia Tia/Singapore Sling/Blue Hawaii/Planter's Punch in souvenir glass DO NOT try to speak pigeon (because you'll probably end up saying something offensive)-

when getting your souvenir glass don't toast the waiter/waitress/bartender "HERE TA BRA' (because you'll only get laugh at)-

when getting drunk in the Tiki Bar don't strip off your tourist matching outfit to jump up on the stage shaking your ass trying to hula (haoles can't shake their ass like the wahines)-








when drunk in the Tiki Bar from drinking out of your souvenir glasses don't get up to try to karaoke 'TINY BUBBLES'-





when getting thrown out of Tiki Bar don't tuck souvenir glasses into your top you might landed on them-when local PD shows up to arrest you don't yell out 'I'm American Citizen' (hey dumb-ass Hawaii been a state since 1959)-when being arrested don't bribe the local PD with 'American Traveler's Checks' (the laughter you'll be hearing when your head is being slammed to the hoop of car will be the Cops)-when being tossed into the backseat of cop car don't drunk tweet/text 'I'm being busted by five-0 (it's not easy to text with your hand cuffed behind your back)-when being tossed into the cell don't puke your guts out on the only cot in the cell (you're going to have to sleep on it)-when getting release from jail don't tell the desk sergeant you had better room service from the local hooker motel down the street-when getting back your personals from desk sergeant don't ask for your collection of souvenir glasses-when going back to the local Tiki Bar on the beach the next day don't say 'Hey remember me!'... 
aloha