The Hex of Little Voodoo Hoodoo & Voodoo Witch & Chocolate!

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Blurred Lines

the tale I'm about to scribe could get me into trouble... but then when did I ever care about getting into trouble... come to think of it trouble and me are old drinking buddies from way back when... the tale for this blog is about (oh how I hate to write this because it shows that I'm getting old) blurred lines... I don't mean the blurred lines that run down the middle of the street because you'd had to much to drink blurred lines... the blurred lines I'm referring to are the ones about (here is goes ready or not) sexual preference lines... fuck once again here is a line that makes me read like something my mother would say... back in my day (I have no idea what my day is or when it was)... but getting back to it... lets go when I was in high school and more forward from there... dust off the memorabilia, sweep out the cobwebs here we go... in high school the lines between the sexes where more ridged... being girls like guys and guys like girls... anything else was buried deep into the closet (why someone coined the word 'closet' is fucking beyond me)... that doesn't mean there wasn't a few girls who enjoyed having all girls PE (fucking google it) or boys who really got all happy being on 
the football team... I will admit that I did my share of making fun of those who prefer the same sex... does that make me a bad person?... I fucking really don't care... but didn't I do anything other than joke about it (laughter can be good way to open ones eyes)... NO... never out of hate... did I have any friends that where 'into same sex'... I fucking don't know... like I wrote in those day it was buried deep in the closet... I gotta to state one more thing before I continue 'metro' wasn't around yet... I'm not sure why 'metro' is used to describe anyone... more about that later... let's move on... in my college days/porn more excepted... and girls where now reading Playboy and Penthouse... it was coming to light that it's was being more excepted that females could or allowed to have what I call 'COLLEGE EXPERIENCE' (for the rednecks and dummies in the back that would be girl on girl)... ah the double standards card... which means it's okay for females to have 'COLLEGE EXPERIENCE' but not the guys... I know that its bad manners for me to write about having had one night stands (sport fucking) with females
who have had 'COLLEGE EXPERIENCE'... it's even worst of me to  have had encouraged them to make pillow talk of there 'COLLEGE EXPERIENCE'... (it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one that has difficulties "picking up" females-I never claim to be mister smooth)... I get a laugh out of when a female tries to flirt or pick up another female it's not that much different than a guy trying... I wonder if it's the same for when a guy tries to pick up on a guy?... all I know is that thank GOD for alcohol for leveling playing field... moving forward... I went to work in a industry that was/is heavy with people who are into same sex... now I have written a short tale about the time I work in this industry and being cougar bait... and there is a tale about something that

happened to me during this time as well... it's very humorous but I'm going to leave you hanging... its a tale to be told over consuming a lot of alcohol... lets move forward to the now... once again I'm working in a industry that is heavy with same sex people but I got to say it doesn't really matter all that much anymore... I guess because I've gotten older and more liberal and with the 'youngins' they have blurred the line to where they really don't care at all...  the only ones that get their panties in a bunch over this are Rednecks, GOPers, Biblethumpers and a lot of old people (okay not all but quite a few of them)... who am I to say that one person happiness is to be judge by me... or by anyone... I know I don't like it when someone steps in and tells me I can't lust after certain females (MILFS-homer face-tongue hanging out with drool)... so why should anyone judge and condemn someone who is into same sex... all I know is that everyone on this mud ball has a right for happiness no matter who they prefer as their partner... here is a bit of double standard card... when a guy things of a 'MENAGE A TROIS'-it's two females and him.
when a woman things of a 'MENAGE A TROIS'-it's two guys and her...

As per WEBSTERS Dictionary:

Menage a trois--(means-french for) three somes, fmf or mfm sex with more than one at a time

Gay--(use to mean) happy, joyous, carefree, celebrate

Queer--(use to mean) Odd, out of sorts, ill

I don't know when these words got tagged for same sex people... all I know is that can't we turn these words back to what they once mean? instead of slurs.... 

I wrote about 'METRO' guys... which I come to find out and now know are not into same sex... I was told by a female that I could easily be a 'metro' guy or somewhat 'metro'... I ask her is it because I hate to go camping or roughing it in the woods (banjo plucking scares the shit out of me) that roughing it to me is a five star hotel where room service stops at 11pm?... that the only places I enjoy traveling to have international airports (now I would go for a nice bullet train ride)?... Or that I care about my looks (the battle over weight)(I got to say I was one of the better dressed in high school)... or maybe because I'm SHALLOW....  
well that's enough of my soapbox for now... moral of tale... 
why do we have to have lines...

training cougar cub to hunt

to start off I'm giving a nod to several baristas that this tale could be about... Voodoo Witch Barista-I'm Not That Of Girl-Caveman Woman-I Could Be A Centerfold-60s Tie Dye Barista... I'm not sorry to the others such as BaahBaah or I facebook Everything or Little One or My Fucking Knee Acting Up Again Barista reason for my own... let me start this tale when I was... how can I put this... I know... when I was of the age of cougar bait... many many many moons ago when the moon was high and the earth was young... I was entering my cougar bait years (you can't google it... it's a calendar thing)... I was employed by an airline which allowed me to travel to many cougar hunting grounds... this tale took place in a far land near the metal birds nesting area where metal bird watches spotted 737s, 727s, the extinct L1011s, DC10s and the world traveler 747s... LAX... the cougar in this tale was 32 moons... she was out for her first hunt and I was her first prey... she toyed with me like a

cat holding a piece of cheese on a string and I was the mouse... she was 
taught how to make me jump through hoops that I didn't even know I was jumping through... she played me like a toy fiddle... I enjoyed every minute of it... the best part being a hunting by a cougar is the hot out of control fucking!!!(oh fucking grow up)... I can't put my finger on it but for some reason when a cougar is in heat (which is most of the time) she on the hunt... and when she hunting she looking for prey that will fulfill her horny hunger... meaning she wants to be fuck like she's never been fucked before and she not getting it from prey around her own age... it seems that cougars think most prey around their age are pretty set in they're sex-ways (ie watching sports while drinking beer rather than watch a cougar do a striptease)(I know that there are some cougars that shouldn't do stripteases)... before she cast me out like yesterday's newspaper I ask... no I begged her to show me how a cougar hunts it's prey... she told me to notice what style of clothes they wear... it seems that clothing tells a lot about a cougar's habitat (what side of the tracks she comes from-there are trailer trash cougars out there)... she pointed out how a cougar stocks it's prey without it knowing it... she told me to notice how a cougar plays with it's prey...  she also show me how a cougar when it's made up it's mind how she pounces on it's prey and fends off other cougars... this enabled me to become a cougar hunter... so I told this knowledge with me on great hunts across the land using the big metal birds that migrate across the lands... the hunting was good... 

now I sit at the corner of the bar (wish it was a Tiki Bar or Tiki Lounge) and watch cougars play with their prey... and laugh at the prey when they think they have the upper hand (they don't if the cougar is wroth her salt in weight)... moral to this tale is if you are a young cub wanting to be a worthy cougar... learn from the best one you can find... I know they are hard to find but they're out there... you just have to go to there hunting grounds... unfortunately 3 Vinos in my area is not where you're going to find a 'vintage (better word for find) cougar' to hunt... sometime later I'll write about my cougar safaris... (sound effects of a cork popping out of a old vintage tequila bottle-sound effects of tequila pouring into rocks glass with ice)... aaaahhhh.

Now this is a Tequila Bottle is it no wonder why cougars (women) enjoy a good shot! If not just think of how much fun they could have with an empty bottle!

text to work.

once again I got the text for work on CSI NY at the last moment (while as far as work calls go that it is)... it's up at the butt crack of dawn, get dress in the dark, because turning on the lights will temporarily blind you... make the bed like a good boy then dash out the door... hit the local Starbucks for the first cup of the day and maybe banana for the commute to work... work a half day (the first 12 hours) on location in Pasadena... but here is the kicker I got to drive to CBS Studios in Studio City, to be driven back to Pasadena to do the work... then at the end of the day be driven back to the Studio... get my car so I can drive thru Pasadena on the commute home... make since... don't worry it doesn't have too. It's Hollywood!!! I wonder who I'll see grinning at me from across the counter early in the morning at local Starbucks?... Big Boy's Coffee please... will there be an early morning hug?... will I want an early morning hug?...
I want the MILF picture in upper right corner to be texting me to come to bed.

Here is some eye-texting-candy... remember texting and drinking leads to drunken texting...

Maybe

the word 'maybe' has different means... it means one thing to a man and another to a woman... when we were kids, be it boy or girl, we learned how to use the word 'maybe' as away of playing our parents against eachother to get what we wanted... it went something like this... you go ask your mother for something or let you go somewhere... when she didn't want to give you a definite answer she would say 'maybe' if it's okay with your father' (does word 'maybe' mean passing the buck?)... once you heard that from your mother then you would to daddy and play'em like a cheap fiddle... as we get old the word 'maybe' becomes a double edge sword... meaning one thing to a woman and something else to a man...   when a man uses the word 'maybe' to a other man... it means 'no fucking chance in hell am I going to do that for you'... or 'it's not that important to me so fucking forget it'... or if a man thinking about doing something... like 'maybe' I should go--- which means I'll never go there because no one is dragging me there... or  'maybe' I should do--- which means I'm not about to fucking do that because no one is nagging me to do it... here is the flip side... what the

word 'maybe' means to a woman.... when a woman uses the word 'maybe' to another woman it means one thing only... 'maybe I can do it for you later'... translation... 'I can't do it right now but I will do it because you're going to owe me big time'... now this is where man and woman go wrong when using the word 'maybe' with eachother... when a woman tells a man 'maybe I'll give you a blow job later if you're good'... which means [guys] you'll never get that blow job because she will never find anything good that you've done... so guys when you hear the word 'maybe' from a woman, it's her way of telling you that there is no fucking way in hell it's ever going to happen... flip side... when a man uses the word 'maybe to a woman... something like this... 'maybe I'll take you there or 'maybe I'll do this for you'... which means [guys] you better fucking do it now there is no later...  to a woman when a man says it, it's another way of say absolutely yes-promise cross my heart... but when a woman say 'maybe' to a man it only mean one thing... 'maybe'. 

Multitasking what is your brain doing tonight!

 these are the things I plan to do tonight... get a bite to eat... maybe a burger from a local hamburger joint... watch some Apple TV while enjoying said burger... then while watching Apple TV do some writing on script I'm working on (working title Ol' Guy)... then while working on script do some more posting on twitter or facebook... then I got to google some more pixs to go on blog that I write... while working on my script... then get sidetrack looking at nude porn star photos that leads to watching internet porn will watching Apple TV... 

now movie is over that I rented on Apple TV... flip over to netflix to some stupid movie that I really don't care about while watching internet porn... while using spaces (other way of changing screens on laptop to have open different programs-which I got to get a new one) changing screen from internet porn as it is loading up getting ready to play... flip to screen that has my script that I'm working to write a few action lines (which my proofread calls 'action chunks')... then its flip back to internet porn move that it ready to view... while netflix movie on TV is coming to an end... while viewing internet porn... fire up Play Station to watch hulu+... internet porn flick is done (usually 30 minutes or less-could be a movie title)... flip screen on laptop back to script screen... pick TV show on hulu+ that I want to watch... then let it 

load up... now back to script write a few lines of dialogue... flip laptop screen back to internet porn site to pick another porn flick to distract me... while hulu+ is now ready to view... watch episode of I don't remember picking this show to watch... while internet porn site movie is loading up... flip laptop screen back to script that I'm working to write another 'action chunk'... then add a new space screen on laptop so I can write new blog

with pix of naked women and vintage pinups that I have downloaded to desktop from google... while watching hulu+ episode... now done with blog, post it with pix also link it to twitter and facebook... flip laptop screen back to internet porn site which has movie read to view... hulu+ episode I was watching is done and now is load next episode... while I watch internet porn movie... hulu+ is now ready for viewing... 

internet porn is done (remember flicks on internet porn are only 30 minutes or less-more times than not less)... close out internet porn site because my brain is telling me I really should be working on writing script... while now watching hulu+ episode... I close another space screen that has my blog that I just finish posting and linking to twitter & facebook... 

do a quick clean up of desk top by photoshop pics of nude women that I downloaded from google images... while watching hulu+ episode plays on... put photoshop pictures into my pictures file in hard-drive... close out that space screen so that my only space screen is one with my script I'm working on... hulu+ episode is now concluding... turn off Play Station and flip TV to satellite to TCM old black and white movies while working on script... MULTITASKING!!! what is your brain doing tonight? I think I need a cup of java to give my brain a bit of caffeine boost so I can do more...

 This is for those who enjoy hot dogs.

negative = negative unless you're doing new math or tick-tock-tick-tock

let me start this tale on what was on the calendar for me today... I had to go to the taxman to 

do my taxes for last year or is it this year for last year or is it do taxes this year for last year... you get idea... I was suppose to be in Magic Mountain Town by 11:30 am... which means I have to get my ass up out of bed by 9:30 am... this should be no problem right... right?... not so fast my little speedster... you ever wonder why they put snooze buttons on alarms?... it's for people like us (what us kemosabe?)(okay me)... I think the snooze button is there to see how long you can procrastinate before you have to jump out of bed and run around like a mad-man trying to fit in making the bed-taking a shower-drying off-getting dressed-comb one's hair (if you still got hair)-brush your teeth-then dash out the door hoping you got everything you need... like the fucking car keys or key... now this is where the fun part is for a procrastinator... get it all done in six minutes or less after hitting the snooze button more than say fifteen time at 6 minute intervals... I mean anyone can get up early enough to do all this without rushing around but 

where is the fun in that?... that is the first of negative here is the next negative... I have this habit I can't start the day without my 'first cup of the day'... but here is the second challenge... you are out the door with 55 minutes on the clock... now take into mind you got to be at Magic Mountain Town at 11:30 am... you should have dash out the door by 10:25 am... it takes you from where your crack house is to Magic Mountain Town about 50 minutes if you drive by the rules and laws of psychics... lets dash back to our tale... here's what happens next... remember it takes 50 minutes to get where you need to be and you have only 55 minutes on the clock and it's ticking tocking away... got to hit bank and I don't mean the ATM... go inside and withdraw some cash to pay taxman (did I mention that the car is almost running on empty?-my bad).. get some cash to put gas in the tank... this normally would take about say 10 minutes, because there would be an old woman checking on her bank account to make sure none of her money didn't escape during the night... it takes about 9 minutes off the clock to get in & out of bank (got lucky there was only one blue haired lady in bank)... next it's off to yup you got it... local Starbucks where you see that there is a line forming inside... park the car at the green curb (look it up)... jail walk across the street and join others that are rushing through the door to get in line... now why is it there is always a fucking newbie that never been to a Starbucks in there life is at the head of the line, gawking at the menu wondering what to fucking order... oh did I also bring up there is only one barista handing the register?... now you are third in line... the couple in front of you (not that they are a couple in a relationship way) are wondering from the line to the 'everything you see in the display cases is damn fattening!!! then back into line so they too can stare at the menu like a deer in the headlights... take 13 minutes off the clock... before you can order your cup of java... wait for it... here's the rub... it's brewing and has 4 minutes to go... #FUCK!... upside you know the baristas working at the time... so they can of help you get out the door... but here is another negative... you know have 

pissed off the newbie customer because you got your 

cup of java before she got her double capa mocha 

carmel latte and she been waiting two more minutes than you have... which by the way I could feel her negativity pulsing off her (she was raging at barista for giving out coffee to others before she got hers and demanding to see the boss)... remember to grab your banana for the drive as well... all said and done take a total of 15 minutes off the clock... back into the car feeling newbies negative vibe... now remember you got one more stop before freeway... gas for the car... take 6 minutes off the clock because you had to get the attendant attention in order to pay her cash for the gas & pump it... back into car only to be involved in what I call the MEXICAN traveling roadblock and nope you don't have to be Mexican to play... what would only take about 3 minutes from gas station to get to freeway now is taking you 6 minutes...  as you get on the free notice time you have left to get there... now you

are in the negative... meaning no matter how fast you go or how much you want to turn your car into a time machine you're going to be late... what do you do?... call and lie... say traffic is heavy... while you are driving at better than 65 miles per hour... more in the 8s (that would be 8 in front of other number you desire next to 8)... when you get to said taxman you are now more than 30 minutes late... upside of all this got taxes done... upside didn't have to pay any additional taxes... downside cost over four bills to get taxes done... downside getting small return... downside got to drive home in afternoon traffic of those who get off work around 2 pm... upside stop off at local Starbucks for the second cup of java and listen to funny stories from the baristas... moral of tale... get a faster car/time machine say like a new 911 Porsche...